miles of stiles

dear julia stiles,


so i just read that you are going to be on this next season

of dexter


which suddenly takes your cool factor up by 10 points.


demos and i were discussing this news and it dawned us


where the eff have you been?


i feel like we should be playing



listen up gumshoes


okay, srsly, how awesome was that show?


answer: fetching


i always loved it when the kid struggled to identify the different states on the giant map at the

end of the show


"dude, you live in america!"


k, where was i?


ah, yes where you have been.


i mean i could easily google or imdb you


and find out what you have been up to


but that sounds like work.


wherever you were, i hope you did some serious penance

for that "movie"

save the last dance


don't get me wrong,


i loved it when it came out


but i was also 17


and like every other teenager,


i only had a half functioning brain.


either way, you doing a dark, gritty and completely compelling


show like dexter


will erase my vision of you in


in that ugly sweater and overalls.


yep, thats the one









p.s Letters from Valentine is now on facebook

stop by. be our friend.

the end of the seeker

dear legend of the seeker,

i heard last week that your awesomely, boob-erific, cheesy show


(that is so lame it is fetch)


will be no more.


while i am not entirely surprised, i am very sad.


and decided to pay tribute in the only way i know how


a homage:

good bye

sexy abs in tight leather pants



good bye

bad a** knife wielding chick with boobs always out



good bye

s&m dominatrix with weapons that are clearly vibrators



good bye

crazy old wizard who only throws kick asphalt wizards fire when it is convenient to the plot


good bye

disney aladdin/genie like villian who never seems to be able to kill the seeker, despite trying each week



good bye

magic amulets, that there was always an abundance of

and were the key to saving towns

(srsly who keeps making all these amulets???)




you have provided demos and i countless hours of discussing your often confusing, but awesomely awesome show


you will be missed,

random letters

dear eclipse movie,

what the fetch is going on with you?







dear dexter,







can't wait for you to be back on in four months.


you are srsly one of the best shows on tv

p.s. glad you are feeling better





dear LOST,


you are heartless bastards.

i am so in shock over last nights episode,

not sure when I'll be ready to talk to you again......




dear dr spaceman,



you srsly make 30 rock.

word.



dear vampire diaries,


how is it possible that a vampire,

high school drama,

on the CW

is better than twilight???

get back to me on that.



randomly yours,

turning dwight-enese

dear dwight schrute,

oh geez! i think i am slowly turning into you. tonight, the hubs (jakt) talked me into watching battlestar galactica. so, thinking i'd watch just the first few minutes to indulge him, i ended up watching 3 hours of it.....

and really liked it......

and wanted to see more episodes.....

what. the. frack???





yeah, that's right, i said frack. i am just as weird and dorky as you!



i guess now i will start asking random people around me if they like BG......



and when they don't, berate them. it is after all the schrute way.





or sporadically start spouting bear attack information

or want my own bobblehead doll

k, actually i do want my own bobblehead. they are frakin sweet!





huh? i don't know. i guess it doesn't sound all bad. maybe i do want to be like you when i grow up. i mean, there are worse people i could want to be.......






bears. beets. battlestar galactica,




p.s. who do you want to be when you grow up?

office love

dear office fans,


so what did we all think of the office wedding last night? i am so excited that after all these years, jim and pam finally got married!!! but i feel like this episode was a little gimicky.


like kevin, and his tissue box shoes......um, are there no stores nearby that he could buy another pair of shoes? dwight giving jim and pam turtles, that of course escape and michael giving them that really bad painting. and all of these things were very funny, but who really does that???

i loved that michael decorated his car with cans and "going to a wedding", classic michael. and love even more that the tin cans he tied to his car, were still full.

i did enjoy the chris brown dance down the aisle (got sent that frickin video like 5 times) it was fun seeing oscar and kevin, ryan and kelly and of course phyllis and bob vance.

overall, i really liked this episode and i really LOVE that it was an hour long. but is it just me, or is the tone of these recent episodes been different? like someone else is writing them? whoever wrote them the last 2 seasons, can't they come back??


what happens in niagra, stays in niagra,

p.s. what did you think of the office last night?

joel and his community

dear joel mchale,


you are my hero. if i could have a one night stand with any celebrity.... well, it wouldn't be you. but you'd be on the top ten list, thats for sure!

so needless to say, when i heard about your new show "community" i nearly spooged myself. i wanted so badly to love this show. but the first two episodes were a bit like taking a drink of what you think is sprite, but turns out to actually be water. meh.

fortunately the third episode came through for me! i knew you wouldn't let me down joel, as long as i kept believing. last night i finally laughed through an entire episode. i think part of the improvement came from how few lines were given to chevy chase. (this is direction you should stick to in future episodes).


but what happened to jon olliver? he was the only worthwhile part of the pilot episode, and then he suddenly disappeared, like chuck cunningham on happy days.

but with or without jon olliver, you did manage to salvage your reputation last night joel (i bet you love it when the ladies tell you that ;).

here's valentines take on the show:

i was hesitant when i heard about the show that would be replacing the very sweet and lovable, "my name is earl" ( i am 1 of the 100 or so people who liked that show.....which is why it was cancelled) i tried the first ep, turned it off mid way, it was too hard (that's what she said) to sit through. i gave it another try and this time waited for jon olliver and that made it a little worth it. but like demosthenes pointed out, he hasn't been back. why?

but after watching 3 episodes, i am still not lovin this show. you are fine, but the whole "slacker" thing was big like 10 years ago, it's like someone who just heard about this great new song called the macarena is writing this show.

there have been some funny moments, like when you and chevy wear the tiny sombreros or when you are both paddling a pretend canoe with a hostage. but for me, the funny is few and kinda far between

is indian the new black when it comes to funny sidekicks?

with the exception of the indian kid, the cast is pretty unfunny and why am i spending the whole episode wishing bad things would happen to them?

next stop, b*tchville

and let's not forget this little peach. she isn't funny. she isn't nice. she is pretty, but not enough to pull off all that b*tchy. i don't know, i think i am just tired of the whole "disinterested slacker tries to impress disinterested, pretentious girl"

this show is on the road to funny, but i think they will end up getting a flat tire on the outskirts of mediocre town and will eventually decide to just live there because it's easier than fixing the tire.


wow, i started this with a much more positive opinion, but somehow ended up here. this will probably be a show that i watch when nothing else is on, or in the summer when there is really nothing on.




&

switching to team salvatore

dear vampire diaries,



i did it. i finally succumbed to the siren's song. it called to me and promised that if i followed it, i would find hot vampires and moody teens. the sirens don't lie.

i was hesitant to try this new vampire show. it seemed like a cheap knock off of twilight (turns out the books were written like 15 years ago. who knew?) and i mean come on, it airs on the CW. they are not exactly known for their high quality programming.


also, i didn't want a one mr. edward cullen to get jealous and think i was moving onto a newer (and certainly equally hot) vampire. why hello mr. salvatore. you're looking awfully hot with all your brooding and what not.

i was intrigued from the start, but i was had when she opened the door. he was there. i think i swooned.

i have kinda gotten used to stephenie meyers version of vampires, that i was kinda surprised when stefan gets thirsty, he's eyes go all red and veiny. it must be the fluorescents.

i am lovin' elena, and apparently it is possible for someone to portray a human girl, caught in a world of vampires, without incessantly blinking or constant stammering. (yeah, kstew, i'm looking at you) it got so frustrating watching bella, it's like "spit it out woman!"

and elena's annoying friend, caroline, is so much less obnoxious than bella's annoying friend, jessica.

it's boone! hot dang! he didn't die on the island!

um, yeah, you're my new favorite show!

newlyweds: part deux

dear jessica,

OMG! i just heard that tony romo dumped you. the day before your birthday. are you okay? he's a jerk. you are so much better without him. he was holding you back. you want my brothers to go beat him up?

k, now that i got all of the "good girlfriend" responses out of the way. let's move onto the topic at hand, you getting back with nick.

yes, i think you should totally get back with nick! it's fated. i mean, he just broke up with that vanessa girl, you just broke up with tony....i see one of cupid's arrows at work here.

before you write me off for spewing utter nonsense, hear me out. sure, you guys had some issues the first time around. sure nick thought you were childish, and you thought he was a jerk. sure your creepy dad was around way too much. but that is all in the past.

you have both grown and matured and have no doubt come to the conclusion that the dating world is full of losers. so what are two semi normal, c list celebrities, who want a family to do? why get remarried of course!

look it, i even know what you can call your show this time around

huh? whatcha think?



wait, what about this one?

yeah, i think they rock too. call the artistic director, or you know, whoever is in charge of this stuff and tell them not to worry, valentine's got it covered.

oh, wait. got a little carried away with my own grandeur. sorry about that, right! you and nick. so i think you guys should give it another shot. but this time around, as your best girlfriend, i'd recommend not doing another show. in fact, just stay away from the public for a little while. and you should definitely lock the door and do not give your father a key!

rockin' it cupid style,



p.s. if you have a little girl, valentine is a great name. just sayin'

the reason i watch trueblood

dear jason stackhouse,

k, i must admit, i am not a huge fan of true blood. please, don't throw V at me, it's just that i can't seem to get into it. i find sookie kinda annoying, tara is even worse and the southern accents. oh those accents, is that really what hollywood thinks people in the south sound like?

wait, this wasn't supposed to be a rip on true blood letter, it was supposed to be "hot dang your body is sizzling" kind of letter. i mean, why oh why are we supposed to care about bill when you are running around town? i mean, seriously, i want to stack your house!! k, how is it possible i haven't said that before?

i' m not really digging your whole "church camp" story line. i mean, i have yet to see you make a single lanyard. what the fetch kind of camp is this? i hope you leave the camp soon, it doesn't seem to working out, plus you gotta get out before you show that blonde chick the ways of the "secular world".

i think will stick with you and the show a little longer, i think it might be getting better, maybe not, i don't know. i don't care, as long as you are there in your hot, albeit kinda stupid splendor.




not yet a fan,




p.s. can you tell bill to tone down his scarlet o'hara impressions. i understand he was upset with sookie for "undermining his authority as the makah" but srsly, this is not the burning of terra.

seeker

dear richard cypher,


otherwise or better known as the seeker, you know, i really do love your show, the legend of the seeker. at first, when the hubs started watching it, i was like "oh geez, another low budget, set in the middle ages, leather wearing, bountiful cleavage bearing tv show...." and it totally is all those things, but for some reason, it doesn't seem as cheesy as other shows of it's kind. i find myself really drawn to the characters and the storylines, i really do want you to defeat darken rahl and end up with kahlan.

there are so many things that are awesome about you and the show, example:






you have a very sweet boyish charm












you have a kick a** wizard friend, who throws frickin' fire balls from his hands!








you have the sword of truth, that only the true seeker can wield it's power and it glows when you grasp it, thereby alerting all those around you ( including your enemies, don't know if that was the best idea... ) that you are the seeker.










you have a crazy hot and incredibly muscled body that happens to look even better in tie up leather pants.















you have a total bosom bearing, dagger wielding, bad a** confessor as your sidekick












you can withstand torture from a lady in a red leather, dominatrix outfit.

(remember, if things go too far, the safe word is "strawberry")








you have alluded or escaped from the evil aladdin villian, darken rahl, so many times, i'm starting to think he doesn't really want to stop or kill you.




you know, demos brought up a very good point, as much as darken rahl doesn't seem to want to kill you, you don't seem terrbily interested in killing him either.....maybe you two should end the feud, agree to be friends and have a weekly poker game! just sayin'......




looking forward to season 2 this fall,