pie rack

dear last man standing,

you have quickly become one of my

new favorite shows.

partly because most of my shows are on hiatus

but mostly because you are pretty dang funny.

i love that is tool time, but with daughters.


why mess with what works right?


i love the daughters.

how can you not when they make a pie break up song video?

yeah, this is my new favorite song!








p.s. anyone else think tim allen has aged really well?

the dollar tree?

dear dollar tree,

i just found out you sell nail polish.

look at this color......

i'm in love.

twilight saga: breaking dawn

dear breaking dawn,

what can i say? i loved you. i really loved you.

everything was much better this time around.

the pacing.

the acting.

while i wasn't a huge fan of the soundtrack (how could there be no MUSE?)

i LOVED that they played the song bella and edward danced to at the prom

in twilight.

i loved that they played bella's lullaby.

i loved the toasts at the reception, this is why the humans need to be

in each movie, their humanity is relatable.

i was happy with isle esme

and not grossed out by the delivery.

i loved the stephenie meyer made a cameo at the wedding.

i loved how gaunt and deathly they made bella.

by the way, kristen stewart may not be a great actress,

but she plays dead very well.

i could have done without the wolves (not a fan)

but since they had to be in there, i thought they were fine.

and how absolutely adorable was that baby???

and i LOVED ending it on bella's eyes!

AGGH! 356 more days until PART 2!!!!

p.s. i LOVED the hunger games trailer that played before

the movie. I guess that will have to get me through

until next november!!!

summer visit

this is a repost. but it is one of my favorites




dear parents, (not mine, because they never take me anywhere)


well, it's that time of year again, school is out and that can only mean one thing, the summer vacation. i know you are really excited to be on that beach, having fun at a theme park or just hanging with family at a reunion (hey, i won't judge if that's your thang....) but i bet you're not looking forward to the long, hot hours in the car or long layover time at the airport. no worries, aunty demosthenes and i are here to help.




according to the package: this wonderful activity is simple, but yet the diversion you need "Every 50 miles your child gets to tear open the corresponding area on the package to reveal a small plastic novelty that should keep them busy temporarily so you can continue on your journey without their incessant nagging." sweet right? i think so, and the tiny plastic pieces are the perfect size for your little one to put in their mouth. a bonus!







nothing lift's a family's spirit on a long car ride more than a good yodel. i know what you're thinking "but, valentine, we don't know how to yodel" i got your back baby, the emergency yodel button. keep this with you at all times and when the need arises, press the button to hear the sweet mellifluous warbling of an alpine yodeler.






these dante's inferno balls are the key to silence. little mouths can't be running if they're being burned by "cinnamon candy forged by demons in the third circle of hell"







don't worry parents, i didn't forget about you, but come on let's be honest, all of the other presents were really for you. but in any case, i got you something that is so very functional and practical, you'll wonder why you didn't always have one.
the beware pick pocket wallet! i remember as a child, my dad was always stressed and worried on vacations because it was costing him an a**load and also the fear of having money stolen from the locals. well, this fantastic wallet will solve one of those problems.

the whimsical stick figure sternly cautions any potential pick pocketer that you mean business and will not put up with their thieving. and if they are so caught trying to steal, you will deliver a swift blow to their windpipe, rendering them unable to breathe...... hey they were warned. k, maybe not, but it's probably still a good deterrent to pick pockets.



well, it's time for us to be off. but, we will stop by again and bring you some more fetchingly sweet presents.



aunty,

new obsession

dear katniss everdeen,



i just finished reading the first two books in the

hunger games trilogy

and i can't stop thinking about it.

and you.


i realize the books have been out for awhile.

and how awesome they are

is not news.

but i have fallen.

and fallen hard.



i thought the twilight saga

were incredible books.

and i guess they were.

at the time.


but i can't stop comparing you to bella.

you are both considered heroines.

but i can't help thinking that you are a true heroine

while bella is just a damsel in distress.

you are capable.

smart.

independent.

strong.



that the hero in the series,

peeta,

is a true gentelman.

a totally amazing guy.


while i now think edward

to be controlling,

boring

and borderline creepy.


and the writing.

as much as i love stephenie meyers ability to tell a story

her writing leaves something to be desired.

i was quite pleased that after i finished the second book,

i realized that no one had glowered.

or guffawed.


there is even a love triangle in this trilogy,

but i don't want to b*tchslap you

like i want to do to bella (especially in eclipse)

to yell at you that you don't deserve either of them.

but that i sympathize and even feel sorry for you

is the sign of a truly incredible story.


the next and final book,

Mockingjay,

comes out august 24

and i can't tell you have fetchin' excited i am!!

i plan to do the same thing i did with

the last harry potter.

buy the book and read it straight until i finish.

if that means not eating, going to the bathroom or sleeping

so be it!



everyone should run out now and go get the first two to get caught up.

don't plan on getting it from the library,

lady tremaine went to get them last week

and was told that 88 people are ahead of her!





see you in 39 days!

why it sucked

dear eclipse,


so lady tremaine and i saw you together last week.


and you didn't think we'd treat you any different than

new moon

or

twilight?


good. cuz we're not gonna.


1. actor switch

so lady tremaine and i agreed that riley totally should of

been cast as bella.



i mean, he acted the shiz out of the burning scene.

and they already had a wig.

done. and done.


2. the coordinated cullens




Val: what, did alice coordinate their fight clothes?

Demos: yeah, i can see her saying:

" this is very important to me emmett. i can't fight if we don't match"


3. fancy demetri


what is demetri doing in this scene?

i imagine the convo went something like this:

david slade: k, in this next scene try to act aloof. got it?

demetri: k, got it.

david: action! wait! Cut! Cut!

demetri: what?

david: i said be aloof! not a doof!



4. exercise classy


what is edward wearing? is that a sweater with track pants?

yeah, i think it is.

looks like he is trying to be his towns ron burgundy

"exercise classy, forks!"



5. the sometimes accent


oh my goodness.

bless jaspers little southern heart for really trying to sell that accent.

but just like the ending of new moon, it was laid on a bit too thick.

its like we get it!

You're Southern!

not only that, but i think carlisle got jealous of jaspers special elocution lessons and

decided to get in on the fun,

cuz he was fake accenting right along side with him.





in all fairness, this really should have been titled "why it rocked" .

this really was the best of the series so far, and we really had to dig deep into the barrel to find

stuff to make fun of.

but making fun is funner.

so we did that.


but surprisingly k.stew didn't give me a seizure with her incessant blinking and stuttering.


my mind didn't wander off when the wolves or jacob were on screen.


i loved the eclipse logo at the beginning of the movie.


and the soundtrack totally kick asphalt.

i have been listening to it non stop. still.


and the best part is that we are now this much closer to


BREAKING DAWN!!

summer beauty

dear sephora,



did you hear about our giftcard giveaway?


you have so many incredible products, it is so hard to narrow it down.



what about:



some bronzer?

to give your face that shimmery glow of summertime?

or lip gloss?



to make your lips all purdy and pouty

(i have this in sugar.)







what about nail polish?







in a hot summer color?

so hurry on over to the giveaway, and don't forget to tell your friends!

what would you spend your $40 on?




p.s. you have to scroll down to the bottom of that post to read up on the giveaway!

silhouette prints

dear silhouette masterpiece theater,


how totally awesome and fetch are your prints






















answer:

very.

like, times 100

the end of the seeker

dear legend of the seeker,

i heard last week that your awesomely, boob-erific, cheesy show


(that is so lame it is fetch)


will be no more.


while i am not entirely surprised, i am very sad.


and decided to pay tribute in the only way i know how


a homage:

good bye

sexy abs in tight leather pants



good bye

bad a** knife wielding chick with boobs always out



good bye

s&m dominatrix with weapons that are clearly vibrators



good bye

crazy old wizard who only throws kick asphalt wizards fire when it is convenient to the plot


good bye

disney aladdin/genie like villian who never seems to be able to kill the seeker, despite trying each week



good bye

magic amulets, that there was always an abundance of

and were the key to saving towns

(srsly who keeps making all these amulets???)




you have provided demos and i countless hours of discussing your often confusing, but awesomely awesome show


you will be missed,

ninjas, gymnasts and fonzie

dear LFV readers,

i am very slow on the whole "whats cool right now in viral vids"


which is why i am posting this absolutely high-larious video


almost a year after it has come out.


my only hope is that you have not seen it,


and i will considered cool again










have a fetch friday,

p.s. we are getting closer to our total awesome giveaway, we promise we have not forgotten!

turning dwight-enese

dear dwight schrute,

oh geez! i think i am slowly turning into you. tonight, the hubs (jakt) talked me into watching battlestar galactica. so, thinking i'd watch just the first few minutes to indulge him, i ended up watching 3 hours of it.....

and really liked it......

and wanted to see more episodes.....

what. the. frack???





yeah, that's right, i said frack. i am just as weird and dorky as you!



i guess now i will start asking random people around me if they like BG......



and when they don't, berate them. it is after all the schrute way.





or sporadically start spouting bear attack information

or want my own bobblehead doll

k, actually i do want my own bobblehead. they are frakin sweet!





huh? i don't know. i guess it doesn't sound all bad. maybe i do want to be like you when i grow up. i mean, there are worse people i could want to be.......






bears. beets. battlestar galactica,




p.s. who do you want to be when you grow up?

office love

dear office fans,


so what did we all think of the office wedding last night? i am so excited that after all these years, jim and pam finally got married!!! but i feel like this episode was a little gimicky.


like kevin, and his tissue box shoes......um, are there no stores nearby that he could buy another pair of shoes? dwight giving jim and pam turtles, that of course escape and michael giving them that really bad painting. and all of these things were very funny, but who really does that???

i loved that michael decorated his car with cans and "going to a wedding", classic michael. and love even more that the tin cans he tied to his car, were still full.

i did enjoy the chris brown dance down the aisle (got sent that frickin video like 5 times) it was fun seeing oscar and kevin, ryan and kelly and of course phyllis and bob vance.

overall, i really liked this episode and i really LOVE that it was an hour long. but is it just me, or is the tone of these recent episodes been different? like someone else is writing them? whoever wrote them the last 2 seasons, can't they come back??


what happens in niagra, stays in niagra,

p.s. what did you think of the office last night?

fall favorites

dear fall,

so i guess you are really and truly here. it has been cold and rainy and overcast the last couple of days. kinda bumming me out, i could use some cheering up. so in honor of your arrival, i thought i'd share some of my favorite things for the upcoming season.

favorite tv shows

dexter

the most likable serial killer around

the office

finally, the jim and pam wedding!

psych

like the mentalist.....only funny.

vampire diaries

you can read here to see how i feel about this show

it's always sunny in philadelphia

crazy. insane. hilarious.





favorite smells

ginger vanilla

sweet cinnamon pumpkin

vanilla caramel

favorite apparel

adorable sweater from aero

i am lovin booties, and these payless ones are super cute and cheap!

how awesome is this plaid car coat, also from aero

i love flats and these tweed ones are super sweet.

headbands are my new favorite accessory and i love this one from forever 21

favorite home stuff

i love this print from etsy

i have always loved damask, and this one from target is especially nice

love. love this chandelier from pottery barn

off to enjoy shorter days and cooler nights,