pie rack

dear last man standing,

you have quickly become one of my

new favorite shows.

partly because most of my shows are on hiatus

but mostly because you are pretty dang funny.

i love that is tool time, but with daughters.


why mess with what works right?


i love the daughters.

how can you not when they make a pie break up song video?

yeah, this is my new favorite song!








p.s. anyone else think tim allen has aged really well?

the dollar tree?

dear dollar tree,

i just found out you sell nail polish.

look at this color......

i'm in love.

twilight saga: breaking dawn

dear breaking dawn,

what can i say? i loved you. i really loved you.

everything was much better this time around.

the pacing.

the acting.

while i wasn't a huge fan of the soundtrack (how could there be no MUSE?)

i LOVED that they played the song bella and edward danced to at the prom

in twilight.

i loved that they played bella's lullaby.

i loved the toasts at the reception, this is why the humans need to be

in each movie, their humanity is relatable.

i was happy with isle esme

and not grossed out by the delivery.

i loved the stephenie meyer made a cameo at the wedding.

i loved how gaunt and deathly they made bella.

by the way, kristen stewart may not be a great actress,

but she plays dead very well.

i could have done without the wolves (not a fan)

but since they had to be in there, i thought they were fine.

and how absolutely adorable was that baby???

and i LOVED ending it on bella's eyes!

AGGH! 356 more days until PART 2!!!!

p.s. i LOVED the hunger games trailer that played before

the movie. I guess that will have to get me through

until next november!!!

when things go wang. i mean *wrong*.

dear damn you autocorrect,



you are my new favorite

kill time at work website.

why?

check out these iphone autocorrects

*warning, while these are totally hilarious, they may be construed as offensive.

so if you offend easily, you are at the wrong blog and should leave.*























see what i mean? high-larious,

why it sucked

dear eclipse,


so lady tremaine and i saw you together last week.


and you didn't think we'd treat you any different than

new moon

or

twilight?


good. cuz we're not gonna.


1. actor switch

so lady tremaine and i agreed that riley totally should of

been cast as bella.



i mean, he acted the shiz out of the burning scene.

and they already had a wig.

done. and done.


2. the coordinated cullens




Val: what, did alice coordinate their fight clothes?

Demos: yeah, i can see her saying:

" this is very important to me emmett. i can't fight if we don't match"


3. fancy demetri


what is demetri doing in this scene?

i imagine the convo went something like this:

david slade: k, in this next scene try to act aloof. got it?

demetri: k, got it.

david: action! wait! Cut! Cut!

demetri: what?

david: i said be aloof! not a doof!



4. exercise classy


what is edward wearing? is that a sweater with track pants?

yeah, i think it is.

looks like he is trying to be his towns ron burgundy

"exercise classy, forks!"



5. the sometimes accent


oh my goodness.

bless jaspers little southern heart for really trying to sell that accent.

but just like the ending of new moon, it was laid on a bit too thick.

its like we get it!

You're Southern!

not only that, but i think carlisle got jealous of jaspers special elocution lessons and

decided to get in on the fun,

cuz he was fake accenting right along side with him.





in all fairness, this really should have been titled "why it rocked" .

this really was the best of the series so far, and we really had to dig deep into the barrel to find

stuff to make fun of.

but making fun is funner.

so we did that.


but surprisingly k.stew didn't give me a seizure with her incessant blinking and stuttering.


my mind didn't wander off when the wolves or jacob were on screen.


i loved the eclipse logo at the beginning of the movie.


and the soundtrack totally kick asphalt.

i have been listening to it non stop. still.


and the best part is that we are now this much closer to


BREAKING DAWN!!

giveaway winner

hope everyone had a relaxing, safe and patriotic 4th of july. i definitely did and am a little sad to be returning to work tomorrow. oh well.


so i was supposed to announce the sephora giftcard winner yesterday, um, yeah, that was bad planning on my part, i didn't realize that blogging would be the last thing i'd want to do with my glorious 3 day weekend.


anyways, thanks to everyone that participated.

thanks to random.org

the winner is:




so email me at valentineletters at gmail dot com and give me your address and i'll send your $40 giftcard. Congrats!


to everyone else, i will be doing another giveaway in a week or so. i was contacted by CSN stores to do a giveway for a $40 giftcard to any of their stores. it's just like christmas in july around here.

also, demos and i are working on our eclipse review, should have that ready soon,
so keep an eye out for that!

summer beauty

dear sephora,



did you hear about our giftcard giveaway?


you have so many incredible products, it is so hard to narrow it down.



what about:



some bronzer?

to give your face that shimmery glow of summertime?

or lip gloss?



to make your lips all purdy and pouty

(i have this in sugar.)







what about nail polish?







in a hot summer color?

so hurry on over to the giveaway, and don't forget to tell your friends!

what would you spend your $40 on?




p.s. you have to scroll down to the bottom of that post to read up on the giveaway!

sharing time

dear LFV readers,


so i tend to not share much about myself, i guess i figure i am not that interesting, but i have started to realize that my favorite blogs are always the ones where they share and you feel like you actually know them.

so yeah, i am basically saying that i want you to like me

so, i'll share.


hi. i'm valentine.

i am 27

i was born in texas

i only lived there for 4 years before we moved

so, no, i am NOT a texas girl


from a large family

i am #7 out of 8

demosthenes is of course #8

i have 3 brothers and 4 sisters



i did pretty good in high school, got a couple of nursing scholarships

turned out i hated nursing.

lost the scholarship



dropped out of school

who needs it right?

turns out i do!


got a job as a front desk receptionist

turns out i don't like people


notice there is a job that does not involve talking to people

i take it.

i am good at it.

so good that this past february i sat for my certification exam

i passed.

i am now a certified medical coder

working towards becoming a medical auditor.



i am married.

have been for 7 years



i have lived in

Texas

Kentucky

Idaho

Alaska

Illinois

and now

Utah.



i love britney.


like probably more than i should.

i blame it on me being a freshman in high school when she came out

it was a very influential time in my life

i can't be held responsible.



i LOVE mexican food.

and ice.

i LOVE ice.

love british tv

dexter

and pysch




I also love musicals

war movies

and anything jane austen

or jane austen-esque


i love celebrity gossip

and totally RULE

at remembering obscure actors

in obscure shows.

for some reason,

the husband is less than impressed.


i don't like wearing flip flops.

they feel unnatural

my toes don't like being seperated, they are a set.


something interesting about me:

i am tongue tied.

i have tried to have it fixed

twice

but no luck.


so that is valentine. more or less.



it was more than you probably wanted to know



p.s. if you made it down this far, then you are truly awesome and deserve the prize that is hidden behind door #1.

we have been talking about this giveaway forever

just hemming and hawing over it.

but we are finally doing it.

we are giving away a $40 giftcard to


i know in the past we had less than traditional rules for winning a giveaway

but it is late, and i can't think of anything awesome for you guys to do to win

so, we'll go with traditional.

1 entry for just commenting that you want to be entered

1 entry if you blog about the giveaway

1 entry if you tweet about it

1 entry if you become our friend on facebook
(who says you can't buy friendship??)

1 entry if you tell a friend about letters from valentine

and of course, put each one in as a seperate comment.

this will be open until july 3

and i'll announce the winner

on monday, july 5

silhouette prints

dear silhouette masterpiece theater,


how totally awesome and fetch are your prints






















answer:

very.

like, times 100

Random Funny

dear LFV readers who have not totally given up on us,




wow, things have been kinda crazy and we have slacked off.


completely.


i started a new job a couple of weeks ago


and


i am now a federal employee


HOLLA!


so, my brain has been totally frazzled


trying to learn a new job,



driving an extra 2 hours a day



and



getting up 2 hours earlier



needless to say, i have not been feelin the funny.



Especially since i have been flying solo.


SUMMER
(i.e. wedding season)


is demo's busiest time of year


so i don't even expect to talk to her til sept!


but like stella, i'm am slowly


starting to get my groove back.


k, so i am not big into forwards.


like, not at all.


if i wanted to see animals dressed like people


i'd pick up one of the wondering dogs outside of chinese restaurants,


bring it home and do it myself.



but against my better judgement, i read this one, and it made me laugh.

like really laugh.


so i'd thought i'd share it




to maintain a healthy level of insanity:



1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.... See If They Slow Down.


2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!


3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.


4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.


5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'.


6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.


7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.


8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.


9. Sing Along At The Opera.


10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.


11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream Won! I Won!'


12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'


13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'



And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity



14. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.



totally slacking,

the end of the seeker

dear legend of the seeker,

i heard last week that your awesomely, boob-erific, cheesy show


(that is so lame it is fetch)


will be no more.


while i am not entirely surprised, i am very sad.


and decided to pay tribute in the only way i know how


a homage:

good bye

sexy abs in tight leather pants



good bye

bad a** knife wielding chick with boobs always out



good bye

s&m dominatrix with weapons that are clearly vibrators



good bye

crazy old wizard who only throws kick asphalt wizards fire when it is convenient to the plot


good bye

disney aladdin/genie like villian who never seems to be able to kill the seeker, despite trying each week



good bye

magic amulets, that there was always an abundance of

and were the key to saving towns

(srsly who keeps making all these amulets???)




you have provided demos and i countless hours of discussing your often confusing, but awesomely awesome show


you will be missed,

ninjas, gymnasts and fonzie

dear LFV readers,

i am very slow on the whole "whats cool right now in viral vids"


which is why i am posting this absolutely high-larious video


almost a year after it has come out.


my only hope is that you have not seen it,


and i will considered cool again










have a fetch friday,

p.s. we are getting closer to our total awesome giveaway, we promise we have not forgotten!

hurray for spring!!

dear spring,

you are one of my fav seasons eva!! right behind summer and fall. if this were the olympics and you were a weirdly proportioned athlete, you would be taking home the bronze medal to a proud (but still mildly disappointed) country! hurray!!

but i'm so glad you're here, because spring always brings the best stuff. flowers, and warm weather, rain to wash away the snow, and ....... W. T. F. !!!!!!



holy shiz spring! this year you brought me ET!!! this is the best spring ever!!! i found him hiding inside a shrub which had, sadly, outlived its usefulness. if this is the kind of treasure i find when i "garden" then i think i will just have to keep up this "gardening" thing.

(no i did not plant these just because they're called "Wee Willies". that was only part of the reason)

(grrrr, there seems to be some kind of glitch with blogger today. are the pics showing up now? or are they still no show?)

strange baby names

dear future parents,

i know that naming your child can be a long and frustrating time (k, i don't really know cuz, i don't have kids, but whatevs)



everyone giving their opinions, suggesting names, telling you that there is no pressure, but if you wanted, you could name your baby, after them.

but as someone who works in a field, that sees a lot of new baby names, i am here to help guide you with a list of names i suggest you NOT use:



Kindyl

k, so you lurve your new electronic reading device, great, but don't name your kid after it.



Trashod

so, i think the parent thinks that this spells "trey-shod" they would be wrong. but either way, whenever your kid has the world trash in their name, you are headed the wrong way on the baby naming road.


Khyron

this is sooo a robot name. and i have no doubt that this guy is gonna grow up to be the
Khyron 3000, domestic robot, and make his master proud.


Mysteri

guess what? mystery is already not an unusual name, you don't have to go and make it even more unusual by changing the 'y' to an 'i'


Porsche Mary

so, they gave her a white trashy first name, but to help her to be respectable, they gave her the most boring middle name ever! i am so naming my kid cougar fred.


La-A

what. the. fetch. kind of name is that? oh its supposed to be pronounced "La dash A"? in what world is this a name? i'm sure she won't spend her entire life correcting people and cursing her parents for giving her such a stupid moniker


Valaria

how is this not the generic drug name of valtrex?

"ah man, my peeps is totally burning, i need to take some valaria right away!"


Strawsee

i got nothin'.




again, this is just my opinion, you may totally love one or all of these names and are putting them down on your list. but just be fair warned, if you pick one of these names, i will make fun of you.







p.s. what strange names have you seen?

Valentine Visit

*** I wrote this post before Valentine's Day, but totally forgot to post it. I know the day has passed, but decided to go ahead and post it anyways!***

dear lovely children,


i know your aunty demosthenes and i have not been around lately. we were going to stop by for christmas, but what can i say? your parents phoned and told us you had been bad and to not bring any more silly presents for you.


well, they clearly don't know us very well, cuz how could we pass up all the lovely love goodies that we found?


love is certainly hard to find, but with this love gun, it just got a little easier. love with literally be in the air. just load up the love gun with one of the tiny cupids and aim it at the girl or boy of your dreams, and they will be yours.

*disclaimer*

we do not guarantee love will occur: bad hygiene, annoying laughs and weird habits must be factored in.

once you've got the girl, guy, person of your dreams, now what? from what i have seen, you can expect constant arguments of why he didn't compliment her new shirt to why she is always calling.

relationships are hard to maintain. but never fear, we've got your back baby ( i have a perpetual love/hate with eric from twilight for introducing that line into my vocabulary)

the love notes ball is here to help when you want to whisper sweet nothings into someones ear, and you can't think any nothings. just shake and look into the heart shaped window for 20 love messages.




and we didn't forget about all you losers single people, if you didn't find love this valentine's day, we have something for you as well:

your very own voodoo doll!

use this 9 inch doll to punish those who have may have wronged you, like that guy who you met at a party and you seemed to hit it off and he said he'd call you, but he never did, or you know, someone else.

stick a pin in the desired area to cause unfortunate events such as, a wine stain, insomnia or a hangnail.


*disclaimer*

please use your new found super powers in a responsible way.

and as always, we didn't forget about your parents:

How to Make Love: Secrets of Wooing from the 1930s. Follow this handy booklet and after 6 months before you know it, you'll be walking her home from church and holding hands on her parents front porch.



my my look at the time, we had better be off. but remember, if you are good, your aunties will be back and with some more awesomely sweet goodies!


aunty