Thursday, April 15, 2010

sprink break!

(i meant to post this about a week ago when it would have been more relevant. but better late than never, right?)

dear spring break party go-ers,

if you're like me (and, really, lets be honest. you probably are not) you might be getting sick of the rampant "how not to get raped" advice spewed out around this time of year. (if you are confused, please read up on how not to blame the victim)

this is the most common and insidious form of victim blaming. so common in fact, i would bet that most of my lovely readers didn't even recognize it as such!

but alas, to commemorate this most joyous time of year i thought i'd post Colleen Jameson's (i was going to hyperlink to the original, but doesn't seem to be working.) list of "not getting raped" advice. it actually might do some good! (my particular favorite is no. 7)

1. Don't put drugs in people's drinks in order to control their behavior
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited (this one's for you edward cullen)
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON'T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in the laundry room.
7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public
8. Always be honest with people! Don't pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don't communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them
9. Dont forget: you can't have sex with someone unless they are awake!
10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone "on accident" you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

happy spring break! please don't rape anyone while you are on vacation!


MiMi said...

I go through withdrawls when you leave. Stop it!

Sassy Chica said...

wow...what a list:)

Sassy Chica

valentine said...

i think #4 and #7 are my fav on the list!!

and that pic of the butterflies is so cool!

Imogen said...

Hilarious post!

Ps. Speaking of Edward Cullen, I'm surprised you have yet to comment on this -especially given the high regard I know you hold K.Stew in :P

Lisa - Fine Sweet Life said...

I just spit milk out of my mouth when I read this. You crack me up!