Monday, January 25, 2010

master of karate and friendship

dear blogosphere,

ever since letters from valentine was a baby blog

(yes, we are coming up on a year, not so baby anymore are we!)

i have been intrigued and fascinated by the awards that get spread around the blogosphere.

and ever since i found out that anyone can make one

(that you didn't have to put in your award petition by filling out 7 request forms, in triplicate, sending in $20 for processing fees and submit them to some sort of blog award sub committee that will make their decision and notify you in 2-10 weeks)

i decided to make one of my own.

k, so that was months ago.

but i guess better late than never.

letters from valentine
is proud to present the:

totally fetch right?

it is of course from the brilliance that is

it's always sunny in philadelphia

if you don't like that show, leave now. srsly, cuz i don't know if we can still be friends.

anyways, this award is all about recognizing friendships that have been made while blogging.

so, the rules to this absolutely awesome award is:

list 6 things that you are a master in

and pass it onto 6 bloggers that you think are masters at friendship and make blogging so awesome.

1. i am a master in sleeping.

srsly, i could sleep for 12 hours, get up, eat breakfast and go back to sleep.

i am a master in quoting lines from movies or tv.

i don't think i say an original thing all day long, i just quote stuff.

i am a master of procrastinating

despite wanting to do something right away, i am physically unable to

4. i am a master at multi tasking

since i procrastinate, i usually have to do a couple things at a time. i have gotten good at it. very good.

5. i am a master at googling.

it's all about the keywords.

6 i am a master at shopping sales.

i love a great deal. and i really love 50% off clearance. i feel a mighty hunter. and the sweet deals are my kill.

and i am passing this award onto:

supah mommy

cottage cheese thighs


amy at happily ever after

living in france

whitney at the king and i

you know, if hollywood had an award as awesome as this one, i might be more interested in watching boring award shows.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

when demos and i have too much time on our hands....

dear readers,

awhile back demosthenes and myself did a guest post over at another blog. since some of you might have missed it, decided to repost it here.

warning, this is hilariously dirty!

for those of you who know us, of course we are gonna be ourselves. and let's be honest, we think you prefer us that way. the following are a couple convo's that we have had. can you believe that this started out as an email discussion about a badly translated italian fan letter? and some how the jonas brothers, rpattz chest hair (we like to call it a chest mane) and saute pans got dragged in, then pureed in the food processor that is our brains and reconfigured until we were discussing "fella" names. yeah, that sounds about right.

Demosthenes: .........rob pattinson wouldn't call "his fella" mr. peeps, he'd go for something like big bronco

Valentine: since rob is british, he'd totally go for a formal name. like mr. wickham, handsome, devilish and loves the ladies.

demosthenes: i don't see him naming it something formal, he'd need an ego booster, like The Rhinocerus. what would emmett, from twilight, name it?

valentine: i still love calling it his mr wickham, and when we meet behind the dumpsters, i will say "k, where's johnny wickham"

calling someone's "fella" a rhinocerus is like calling it a giraffe! its kinda weird. and not hot. hmmm....what would emmett call it? the jackhammer? the bear?

demos: okay, i can see that with the giraffe (really, who says that?) but a rhino? come on, that's a beast!!! emmett would call it the jackhammer!! LOL thats perfect for him! and jasper (cullen, from twilight) would call it captain enormous, or something with rank.

val: jasper would go with a ranked name. something like general privates or captain copious, master (sgt) magnificient. these are starting to sound like super hero names.....super hero names that are fetching awesome.

general private! that made me snicker, lol. and carlisle (cullen) would call it Dr Littleton

i don't know of many men that would want the word "little" in their peeps name...

can't you see it? carlisle says to esme "did someone page Dr Littleton?" hahahaha, i am laughing as i write this!

oh my goodness! can you imagine if carlise had a sex pager? lol that esme would use when she was feeling the need, the need for carlisle's seed. and he would totally show up like in a bad porn.and be like

carlisle: "did someone page dr littleton?"
esme: " yes, i did. i need some of your venom"

how the heck did we start talking about what fictional characters would name their wang?

i have NO idea!

* a couple of days later*

demos: mr darcy (pride and prejudice) would totes call his "the gentleman".
"alright ladies, here comes the gentleman!" he would practice his fencing with it in the mirror, lol. "nice play, gentleman, nice play"

demos: heres another one: harry potter would call his the "firebolt" LOL. "line up girls, the firebolt will take you on the ride of your life"

oh man, you are on fire! snape (harry potter) would call his the "potion stirrer", hagrid would go off to "tame his dragon" and dumbledore would go off to "make a deposit" in his pensive. oh, was that too far? should i not have dragged dumbledore into this?? lol

oh dang, dumbledore! LOL. you know me, nothing is too far! he'd arrive to an appointment with mcgonagall and have spooge stuck in his beard.

mcgonagall : "um professor... you have a little... yes in your beard"

dumbledore: "oh so sorry minerva dear. i do try to be careful but this beard is just so d*mn long!"

harry: "wanna ride my firebolt hermione?"

v: i am dying! that part with dumbledore and mcgonagall, so disgusting and hilarious!

ron would want something that sounds tough like "the mighty hypogriff"

i think han solo would call it "his wookie" as in he always lets his wookie win.

han would make fun of luke by calling his an ewok when they're at the urinal together.

d:richard cypher (legend of the seeker) would call his "the dagger of truth."

"hey kahlan, i have this awesome dagger in my pocket. wanna see?"

don't act like you all weren't thinking this stuff too! we're just the ones with the guts to say it out loud (and then publish it on the interwebs for everyone to see)


Monday, January 18, 2010

why it sucked

dear new moon,

awhile back, demos and i discussed why twilight sucked, did you really think we'd do any different for you? you did? oh, that's sweet.

The Cake

despite this cake, that could feed 50 in a house where no one eats, showing up in the trailers, it did not make it to the actual movie. what gives? you didn't have the 10 seconds to show us this cake we had heard so much about? total lamesville!

The Sudden Accent

it's like they suddenly remembered that jasper was supposed to be southern.

"Scarlet O'Hara! jasper is supposed to have an accent!"

"oh yeah, i think i remember reading something in the notes about him being southern....."

"we forgot to do it in twilight, do you think anyone will notice?"

"no, i think we'll be fine"

and not only was the accent southern,

it was southern belle southern (lets see how many more times i can say southern in this sentence.....Southern!)

makes me wonder if they got the dialect coach from true blood to teach him, cuz it sounded similarly craptastic.

The Too Cool for Socks

(i don't have a pic for this, but trust, this is srsly true. demos and i laughed when we saw it! check it out the next time you watch new moon)

look at marcus's feet when we get to volterra......

he is wearing frickin' wicker harachi's!

in the books stephenie mentions that the volturi wear clothes that hinted to older times, i didn't realize she meant the miami vice times.

Introducing Bella Swan as Darth Vader

while i am the first person to say hallelujah that kristen did not strobe light blink

through out the entire break up scene, i am not entirely sure trading it for darth vader breathing was a step up.

major fail award goes to whoever noticed it and let her keep doing it.

Alice's Housecoat

"what is that gawd awesome wet dog smell?"

no alice, the real question is what is that gawd awful thing you are wearing?

is it a blanket (that you subsequently turned into a coat) that you bought from a hippie that was selling it on the side of the road from their van?

you know the van i mean, they are usually blue with some sort of airbrushed design on the side. you know, the people who hang their blankets up on a rope, there is usually one with a giant tiger face.

they also try to sell you handmade soap that they clearly never use.

srsly alice, i've seen cat ladies with better housecoats.

Werewolves, meh

i can't tell you much about the wolves, cuz everytime they were on screen, my mind wandered to mundane and medial tasks that i needed to do. yeah, the wolves were so boring that my mind wandered to reorganizing my kitchen cupboards, and i hate organizing. nuff said.

New Moon Soundtrack

k, i bet you all think that i am gonna say how much i hated the music on the soundtrack, that it was totally depressing, there weren't any great songs, that the twilight soundtrack was so much better. ha! gotcha. i totally loved the music to this movie, what i didn't like was that almost the entire soundtrack was played during the first 30 min. and then we were left with nuffn'

as much as i love chris weitz and what he did with the saga, there is def. room for improvement for eclipse. we're counting on you david slade, don't let us down!

p.s. what do you think made new moon suck?

Saturday, January 9, 2010

don't abandon ship

dear LFV readers,

like the new look? i needed something bright to get me through the gray drab that is january. it is srsly the worst month. okay, february is srsly the worst month, (cuz it srsly is) but my b-day is in february, so it has something going for it.

demos and i have taken another break, we didn't intend to, but before you know it, it has been a couple of weeks.

but we do have somewhat of an excuse, i've been in the process of getting a new job, so that has been kinda stressful. and on top of that i have begun studying for a certification in my prospective field, so that has been a tad time consuming.

wedding season is starting back up again, so demosthenes has been doing that. as well as redoing her house, which is looking awesome by the way.

oh yeah, and she had some nasty food poisoning last week.

anyways, that is what we have been up to.

but we will be back.

we have to.

cuz we still haven't shared with you all why New Moon sucked.

and we have had that planned since we saw the dang thing almost 2 months ago.

eyes (other than ours) have to read it.

so hang in there. don't stop visiting.

we will have new stuff soon.