Wednesday, October 21, 2009

turning dwight-enese

dear dwight schrute,

oh geez! i think i am slowly turning into you. tonight, the hubs (jakt) talked me into watching battlestar galactica. so, thinking i'd watch just the first few minutes to indulge him, i ended up watching 3 hours of it.....

and really liked it......

and wanted to see more episodes.....

what. the. frack???

yeah, that's right, i said frack. i am just as weird and dorky as you!

i guess now i will start asking random people around me if they like BG......

and when they don't, berate them. it is after all the schrute way.

or sporadically start spouting bear attack information

or want my own bobblehead doll
k, actually i do want my own bobblehead. they are frakin sweet!

huh? i don't know. i guess it doesn't sound all bad. maybe i do want to be like you when i grow up. i mean, there are worse people i could want to be.......

bears. beets. battlestar galactica,

p.s. who do you want to be when you grow up?

Monday, October 19, 2009

couple dating

dear how i met your mother,

after watching last weeks episode, it has come to the attention of the hubs and i (srsly, he needs a name. it has been 7 months. i think the man deserves a pseudonym. i think jakt is very fitting).
so it has come to the attention of jakt and i, that there must be something wrong with us.

we have hung out with lots of couples, we think we have a great time, playing charades, watching the office, talking about how awesome we are. they seem to agree. we part ways with the promise of a call and another get together. but yet, the phone never rings for that follow up date.

at first, we blamed it on busy schedules. busy with kids. busy with life. that must be why our phone remained silent. but after awhile, i think we must face the hard. awful truth. that the problem is us.

as we sat, after our most recent fail, drowning our confusion and tears into a gallon of ice cream, it made me wonder what the problem is. are we:





are we destined to roam the earth on a bike built for two instead of four?

are our nights doomed to be dinners for two?

we are to endure all the foursomes that surround and mock us?

oh well, maybe we shouldn't rush into a game of charades with just anyone. maybe we should hold out for mr. and mrs. right. and one day, we too, can be on that bike built for four.

still looking for "the ones"

p.s. sound off- what is your opinion about couple dates?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

pesc - a - what?!

dear valentine,

people always have tons of questions for me when they find out i'm vegan. this is one of my favorites: "what do you call someone who is vegetarian but still eats fish?".

first off, what am i the motherf*cking dictionary? why do you assume i have all the answers to your vegan related mysteries? secondly, i do have the answer. but you shouldn't assume that i do, meat eater!a person who eats fish isn't a vegetarian, and i'm sick and effing tired of them thinking they are! they are just a person who eats fish. period. they're not special. and they sure as h*ll aren't in the same league as vegetarians and vegans. (ya, i'm pretentious. what are you going to do about it?)

i guess it stems from the whole, catholics can't eat meat on good friday, but can still eat fish, cause in their eyes fish aren't meat. right. that makes perfect sense. cause, you know, fish don't have hearts, or brains, or feel pain. any one who claims they can still eat fish and be considered a vegetarian is an a**hole and i will punch them in the throat. (i'm looking at you mary tyler moore. your throat is mine).

pescatarian is a made up word specifically designed to make people feel better about their half a** lifestyle

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

you were searching for WHAT? Edition 2

dear googlers,

so we did a letter awhile ago, dedicated to you guys and your hilarious searches. srsly, the things that must keep you up at night. the questions that burn in your head until you can get to your nearest computer, then you can go wild, and search the far corners of the inter webs until your strange little hearts content.

the interesting thing (at least to me) is that you are probably looking for something real, and end up with results that are all blogs. and we all know that those are full of idiots who had a bright idea to start blog.......otherwise known as me. one said searcher, even put in "no blogs" in their search, but guess what baby? there is no real information anymore. anyways, you are the ones who think that, but wind up here. congrats!

so here we go:

  • jacob commando - believe me, if this pic existed, i would have already found it! alas, it does not, like the mythical unicorn, we will have to close our eyes tight and wish upon a star, that one day, that this search reveals the real deal. (hopefully this day comes when taylor is legal)

  • call for vampires - sweet! i had NO idea that there was a secret vampire call! do they sell vampire whistles that when blown, (that's what she said) edward cullen comes running? wonder if sharper image carries those.......

  • kenneth edward lollipop- what? i don't even want to know what kind of sick kenneth the page and edward cullen role play fantasy you've got planned, but i assure you, you won't find any of that here. even though demos and i love both of these dudes!

  • pervert in training - okay, i was just kidding when i talked about this before, but now i wonder if i stumbled onto an actual pervert in training class or seminar.....

  • valentine vs. demosthenes - we have come close to it a few times, believe you me. but in the end, i don't think it'll happen cuz she is my sister and i love her.......that and she'd totally kick. my. trash. but if we ever get to that point, we'll call ya.

  • who would win a duel between dumbledore and gandalf - well lucky for you, demosthenes has broken down this very question. but after seeing dumbledore set those crazed zombies on fire in the Half Blood Prince, i don't know how demosthenes can defend her gandalf position.

  • demosthenes style- fetchin' awesome. nuff said.

  • zombie apocalypse valentine- i know that valentine's day can be a stressful time. apparently it is so stressful for you that you have started your search 4 fetching months early!! but it must be hard trying to find the perfect way to tell that zombie enthusiast in your life, that you love them. since i don't think this kind of card exists, i will help you out, valentine style:

um, you're totally welcome!

  • didn't have a plan- well admitting is the first step. and seeking out help, i guess is the second, but you definitely came to the wrong place for that. i never have a plan for this blog. but hey, i don't think most people have cared or noticed, so you are probably fine not having a plan either.

  • poster of drowning scene in the titanic movie - you sir, are sick. sick. sick. sick. not only do you want a picture of the drowning scene, in what again? that titanic movie? but you want it in effing poster size! seek help. now.

you make googling fun,

Monday, October 12, 2009

i never...

do you ever feel like you get lost in the crowd? that there is very little that distinguishes you from the person next to you? yeah, me too. so here are some things that set me apart from millions of people.

i have never seen:

truth? i've seen parts, but get bored and turn it off.

nothing about this movie appeals to me

crazies who think they can sing being told by crazies that they can't. um, yeah, no thanks.

i didn't cry when watching:

other people died as well you know, not just jack.

i have never had:

an easy bake oven..... sigh

LA Gears. i wanted a pair, but never got them.

i have never:

eaten sushi

seen a boy band in concert


wanted to go to paris

stepping out of the shadow,

p.s. what things have you never?

Friday, October 9, 2009

office love

dear office fans,

so what did we all think of the office wedding last night? i am so excited that after all these years, jim and pam finally got married!!! but i feel like this episode was a little gimicky.

like kevin, and his tissue box, are there no stores nearby that he could buy another pair of shoes? dwight giving jim and pam turtles, that of course escape and michael giving them that really bad painting. and all of these things were very funny, but who really does that???

i loved that michael decorated his car with cans and "going to a wedding", classic michael. and love even more that the tin cans he tied to his car, were still full.

i did enjoy the chris brown dance down the aisle (got sent that frickin video like 5 times) it was fun seeing oscar and kevin, ryan and kelly and of course phyllis and bob vance.

overall, i really liked this episode and i really LOVE that it was an hour long. but is it just me, or is the tone of these recent episodes been different? like someone else is writing them? whoever wrote them the last 2 seasons, can't they come back??

what happens in niagra, stays in niagra,

p.s. what did you think of the office last night?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

working girl

dear working women,

so what is our obsession with meetings? why do they always start out harmless and (somewhat) informational, but quickly turn into a gripe fest and blame game.

we do we try to turn random coworkers into our "family"? don't we have actual family and friends? are our real families lost causes so we create a new ones?

why do i get the feeling that while someone is reminding the group that we are all adults,
they really just want to be the parent of the "adults"?

why does the word "team" always seem to come up? what is so wrong with not wanting to be a part of a team? to want to be an individual that does their work and goes home?

why does emotion always seem to trump logic? if someone cries, then they must be right? why do we think respect is something to demand and not earn?

no wonder women are usually not taken seriously, we can't seem to get through a simple meeting without bringing up how we feel, how we are being treated, and that so and so is not doing their share. that's what kids do.

do you think men do this? do they sit around, taking 2 hours out of their day to talk out feelings and frustrations? h*lls no! i think doing that would be handing over their balls and never getting them back.

Lawrence from Office Space

"h*ll naw man, i think you'd get your a** kicked for saying something like that"

it saddens me. women are intelligent, capable and caring, but we seem to get caught up in the pettiness and turn on each other. we get bogged down with these behaviors and none of our good qualities show through. i think we are better than this.

fall favorites

dear fall,

so i guess you are really and truly here. it has been cold and rainy and overcast the last couple of days. kinda bumming me out, i could use some cheering up. so in honor of your arrival, i thought i'd share some of my favorite things for the upcoming season.

favorite tv shows


the most likable serial killer around

the office

finally, the jim and pam wedding!


like the mentalist.....only funny.

vampire diaries

you can read here to see how i feel about this show

it's always sunny in philadelphia

crazy. insane. hilarious.

favorite smells
ginger vanilla

sweet cinnamon pumpkin

vanilla caramel

favorite apparel

adorable sweater from aero

i am lovin booties, and these payless ones are super cute and cheap!

how awesome is this plaid car coat, also from aero

i love flats and these tweed ones are super sweet.

headbands are my new favorite accessory and i love this one from forever 21

favorite home stuff

i love this print from etsy

i have always loved damask, and this one from target is especially nice

love. love this chandelier from pottery barn

off to enjoy shorter days and cooler nights,