Monday, March 8, 2010

strange baby names

dear future parents,

i know that naming your child can be a long and frustrating time (k, i don't really know cuz, i don't have kids, but whatevs)

everyone giving their opinions, suggesting names, telling you that there is no pressure, but if you wanted, you could name your baby, after them.

but as someone who works in a field, that sees a lot of new baby names, i am here to help guide you with a list of names i suggest you NOT use:


k, so you lurve your new electronic reading device, great, but don't name your kid after it.


so, i think the parent thinks that this spells "trey-shod" they would be wrong. but either way, whenever your kid has the world trash in their name, you are headed the wrong way on the baby naming road.


this is sooo a robot name. and i have no doubt that this guy is gonna grow up to be the
Khyron 3000, domestic robot, and make his master proud.


guess what? mystery is already not an unusual name, you don't have to go and make it even more unusual by changing the 'y' to an 'i'

Porsche Mary

so, they gave her a white trashy first name, but to help her to be respectable, they gave her the most boring middle name ever! i am so naming my kid cougar fred.


what. the. fetch. kind of name is that? oh its supposed to be pronounced "La dash A"? in what world is this a name? i'm sure she won't spend her entire life correcting people and cursing her parents for giving her such a stupid moniker


how is this not the generic drug name of valtrex?

"ah man, my peeps is totally burning, i need to take some valaria right away!"


i got nothin'.

again, this is just my opinion, you may totally love one or all of these names and are putting them down on your list. but just be fair warned, if you pick one of these names, i will make fun of you.

p.s. what strange names have you seen?


Anonymous said...

omg, I can't believe someone else has seen the La-a one!!! I thought my husband was lying when he told me that name. Only it was "Le-a" because I guessed it was pronounced Leah. hahaha. I feel bad for teachers trying to pronounce some of these names.

annie said...

Those are some funky names! I hate when people take a normally good name and try to spell it all funny to be 'different'. Different must equal stupid because no one else in that childs life is going to get their name right. Poor kids.

Lisa Anne said...

Strange baby names are the only reason I'm remotely interested in Celebrity Gossip. I want to hear what the next crazy baby name is going to be. Now I love an unusual name, however these take the cake.

Visiting from I believe blogs.

Kristina P. said...

Love crazy names.

My latest frustration is parents naming their boy what is clearly a girl's name, or vice versa. It's makes for some embarrassment when we do reminder calls for counseling appointments.

KimJohnson said...

Oh my dying laughing! Valaria? For reals. And to think my husband scoffed at the name Olivia. He should have just been grateful.

foxy said...

Valaria sounds like a disease to me. How do ppl think this crap up? I would kick my parent in the face if they named me any of these.

Kristin said...

Female, Lemonjello and Orangejello...No joke.

MiMi said...

Okay, I'm NOT kidding. One town over from our town this freakin' idiot family named their baby Zippedy Dew because the last name was Dah. No shit.

Orange Juice said...

yay so good to see you pop up again! Your breaks are too LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!!!! lol

It's All Good said...

Khyron- although this may sound like a robot name, if he turns out to be real great in bed, it may work in his favor...


B @ Sweet Limes said...

I got one for you. I know a kid named Alien, but it's pronounced E-lien. How mental is that one? Parents need to think these things through or else be available to take all the beatings the kid will receive in his/her life

Anonymous said...

I actually know a girl from Chile whose name is Valaria so I don't think that one's weird. She goes by Valerie now though since Americans can't ever get her name right. And because people would call her Valaria Diarrhea.

Names I've Seen: boy & girl twins Tracy/Traci; Jaundice pronounced Juan-dee-see; and a kid named Domino Domino

Porsche Mary cracks me up!