Monday, June 7, 2010

The Birds

dear obnoxious birds that wake me up every effing day at 5 AM,

don't worry, the day of payback is coming.

and coming soon.

you just might wake up one morning to a surprise homemade bird feeder

but instead of a yummy peanut butter treat,

it'll be avicide.

and i will get peaceful silence.


p.s. k, so while i am only half kidding about the killing the birds thing, why is it such a crazy idea?

how are they any different from other rodents or pests?

they carry disease just like any other animal.

cuz they are cute?

nope. they're not.

people have them as pets?

people have mice, and rats and snakes as pets

they are intelligent?

no, they fly into closed windows

case closed.


McGriddle Pants said...

My friend is having the same problem with an owl... stupid birds!!!

Mae Rae said...

i loved this post. I was woken up on Sunday Morning the same way. I don't hate birds, just like my sleep.

MiMi said...

Nope, they aren't cute. Especially when the sit on the powerlines that go accross the driveway and crap all over your freakin' car. Not cute at all.

Anonymous said...

they are effing birds and I'm totally with you. I hate it when they wake up my kids at oh dark thirty too.

The King and I said...

YES! There is a bird that has been stalking me all my life. It makes the most annoying sound, and no matter WHERE I am, I hear it.


No, I'm not crazy. Thank you for not asking. :)

Lisa - Fine Sweet Life said...

Is it quiet yet?

Kristin said...

I do not get birds as pets. They creep me out!

p.s. In case you haven't heard...Our blog has moved! We would love for you to visit us at our new site:
Unfortunately, if you followed us with Google Friend Connect you'll have to re-follow but everything else is the same! Hugs, K

Natalie said...

We have a family of birds living in a nest in our effing house. For real. There was a small spot where the wood need to be replaced above my back door. These parasites took advantage of the situation & built a nest in there making the hole bigger. Now, the babies are jumping out of the nest & killing themselves on my doorstep. It's gross.