Thursday, June 3, 2010

toddlers and tiaras: rise of the oversexed toddler

dear LFV readers,


in honor of Toddlers and Tiaras having their season 3 premiere yesterday, i thought i'd repost a letter that demosthenes wrote last august.


it is such an awesome letter, that it is actually our highest viewed post.
ever.

its that good.
so you should definitely read it. again.



dear valentine,


i only managed to sit through about 15 minutes of this show, so i guess there's the slight possibility that i'm not being a fair critic. but i just about threw up. these crazy a** mom's are having their tiny babies prance around like whores on a street corner.


how nice of these mom's to put their 2-3 year old daughters in sexy clothes and display them so that all those chester child molesters can have a good time. it saves them the trouble of trying to hide their child porn from their wives.




as if young girls in america didn't have enough problems with self esteem and body image to begin with. these moms had the bright idea of indoctrinating their daughters from infancy that to be beautiful requires make up, perfectly styled hair, a tan, and provocative clothes. because no woman could possibly be considered beautiful if she *gasp* just looked the way God made her.


well done mom's, well done. now all you have to do is make sure your girls develop an eating disorder by 15, and get hooked on coke to stay thin by 18, and you'll have achieved a well and truly f*cked up daughter. congratulations.






the pageant mom's freely talk about the process for getting their kids ready for a show. lets see, fake eyelashes... check. fake spray tans.... check. big fake hair extensions.... check. fake teeth because your toddlers real baby teeth are falling out.... check. now some 80's looking hooker make up and we're all set!


srsly? what's the point of having a contest if everything on their bodies is fake? what are you judging, which brand of spray tanner coats the most evenly? its like having a contest to see which pie is best, but all the pies are made of plastic.


a 7 year old on the show actually said this: "i want to be a cheerleader, cause i like to show my belly and thats what they do". what a wonderful moral for her to be learning. a little whore in the making. i think i just shed a tear.


i think we all need something to wash down that sh*t soda, so heres a super awesome photo to take our minds off the destruction of a generation (yes, thats the cutest f*cking marmoset you've ever seen)





7 comments:

Good Girls Studio said...

well said!

Pearl said...

I totally agree! And the looks on the poor girls faces in the before pictures says it all..."why am I being forced to do this? All I want to do is go play!"

Kathie @ Just a Happy Housewife said...

I could not have said it better!

Wonder Woman said...

I watched it last night. It's totally like the train wreck you can't pull yourself away from. It seems like they are divas in the making even more than whores in the making. The tantrums. The whining. The things these girls get away with! One mom let her 7 year old daughter have THREE REDBULLS.

It's crazy.

hotpants™ said...

A girl I went to high school with was on the season premiere. She mentored a couple of young girls here in Memphis. Anyway, she's 31 and just recently started pageanting again. Pageanting isn't really a word, but I bet she thinks it is.

Kristin said...

Forget the ridiculousness that is Toddlers & Tiaras. I'm loooooving that little marmoset!

MiMi said...

I think it's gross. And I have only 2 words...or possible 3, I really don't understand French:
Jon-Benet Ramsey.
'Nuff said.