Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Random Funny

dear LFV readers who have not totally given up on us,




wow, things have been kinda crazy and we have slacked off.


completely.


i started a new job a couple of weeks ago


and


i am now a federal employee


HOLLA!


so, my brain has been totally frazzled


trying to learn a new job,



driving an extra 2 hours a day



and



getting up 2 hours earlier



needless to say, i have not been feelin the funny.



Especially since i have been flying solo.


SUMMER
(i.e. wedding season)


is demo's busiest time of year


so i don't even expect to talk to her til sept!


but like stella, i'm am slowly


starting to get my groove back.


k, so i am not big into forwards.


like, not at all.


if i wanted to see animals dressed like people


i'd pick up one of the wondering dogs outside of chinese restaurants,


bring it home and do it myself.



but against my better judgement, i read this one, and it made me laugh.

like really laugh.


so i'd thought i'd share it




to maintain a healthy level of insanity:




1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.... See If They Slow Down.


2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!


3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.


4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.


5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'.


6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.


7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.


8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.


9. Sing Along At The Opera.


10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.


11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream Won! I Won!'


12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'


13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'



And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity



14. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.



totally slacking,



7 comments:

Pearl said...

#13 and #14 are totally hilarious! They all are funny, but for some reason those last two made me laugh until I almost peed my pants.

Thanks! :-)

annie said...

You really have been slacking - but I will forgive you since you made me laugh!

Kristina P. said...

Too funny! Congrats on the new job.

hotpants™ said...

I got laid off so I currently have lots of free time. I'm not excited about it though. Congrats on your new job!

Tracie said...

Funny stuff! Congrats on the job!

Whitney said...

Congratulations on your new job. As for blogging, I have been slacking lately, too. As a teacher, summer is my prime time for writing though because it is my time to be selfish and focus on my own interests... Is that so bad? :) Thanks for sharing the healthy insanity tips! These are hilarious!

MiMi said...

Crap, working for the feds?! You have it made!