Wednesday, August 26, 2009

the dulcet sounds of awesome

dear edward cullen,

i don't know if you remember this or not, but demosthenes and i have created in our minds a different version of you, one that we have lovingly monikered "emo edward" (EE). we call him that because he is an emo kid; depressed, moody, loves the dulcet sounds of death cab for cutie. it's funny, over time he has kinda changed a little, into someone who is also slightly feminine, (i'm sure you can't relate to that at all.) you know, he gets frustrated by bella's lack of fashion, upset with emmett and jasper's childish pranks and he never misses a mani/pedi party.

demos and i find ourselves talking about him. alot. we often have convos about the sort of stuff he'd do. it's not that we love emo edward more than you, regular edward, it's just that you are kinda boring (perfect, but boring) and the emo one is just so much fun. at least, we think he would be.

take per example, the day that we were discussing edward's sleeveless shirt from the meadow scene, from the book:

EE would be so mad! beige looks awful with my highlites! he wouldn't be wearing a sleeveless button down to the meadow, but i do think he'd be digging the whole, showing off his pristinely waxed chest muscles

val: LOL are you saying that EE would dig a hole, just to show off his muscles?

bella: "why are you digging that hole?"
EE: "its a vampire thing. i can't talk about it. you won't be safe if you know. "


bella: "but theres really no reason for a hole to be right here edward, did you ask esme if it was okay to do this?"

EE: "i'm a man, bella. i don't need to ask permission from my mother. man is it hot out here, i think i need to take my shirt off"

bella:"your undead edward, you're always cold."

EE:"oh i'm hot today bella. its a good thing i'm so ripped or this hole would take me forever to dig"

val: lol!! ohhhh, i totally misread what you wrote. i thought you said he'd dig the hole, to show off his muscles. not that he'd dig the whole showing off his muscle thing! but thanks for playing along with my confusion.

demos: ROFLMAO! that is hilarious! i was a little confused about the whole "digging a hole" thing, but i thought it worked, so i was all "okay".

val: *they both stand over the hole looking into it*

bella: " what. "

ee: "now, i fill it back in. yeah, yeah, its an old vampire custom."

bella: "i don't think that is true. i goggled about vampires remember. and it didn't say anything like that"

demos: emmet would walk by and piss in his hole while he's digging it!

bella: "see!! i knew this wasn't a vampire thing! he just peed in your stupid hole!"

*another day, another convo*

val: do you ever wish EE was real? i do. i think he'd be hilarious to hang out with. he'd totally have dramatic exits and entrances. like arrive at bella's house wearing a cape!

demos: the cape would be gold to match his eyes! *sigh* i do wish ee were real. we'd be best friends!

val: i am so glad that you also wish he was real. and he'd totally match his eyes to the cape, because anything worth doing is worth doing in style.

That is totes EE's motto!

yes, the above convo's are pretty much how we spend our entire workday. don't tell my boss, she thinks i am hard at work, not role playing with demosthenes.

anything worth doing is worth doing awesome,


Anonymous said...

Lawl, nice! Emo Edward sounds funn :D

Love it.

Amy said...

Hey, you changed it from "postcards" to "comments." I really liked that it was postcards. At any rate, I think that is very funny, yet suitable. I bet if your boss knew what you were really doing, he/she wouldn't mind but would want to join in. Yup, that is what I think.

Kimi said...

Holy shiz on a cracker. My eyes are watering I'm laughing so hard. I am now a huge fan of EE. Hole digging and all.

Anonymous said...

hahaha! EE does sound like more fun :-)

beth said...

love it! maybe you guys should write a ee book. i would totes read it!

Anonymous said...

LOL @ EE. You two are hilarious! I would love to work with you guys. Sneak around role playing about Edward and Co. behind the boss' back...I'd like to get paid for that!

Ronnica said...

Oh my...I'm not a Twilight-head, but this was pretty funny!

MiMi said...

Awesome! I think he sounds a tad metrosexual too! :)

Anonymous said...

Does all of this take place in Google Chat because I loves me some Google Chat.

foxy said...

OMG - that was so funny! I totally pictured the entire "digging the hole" scene in my head.

I have to admit, I'm digging EE. Reminds me of some of the Edwards I've come across in the fan-fic... a little more gritty.

Kristina P. said...

This is hilarious! Emo Edward = Awesome.

SupahMommy said...

the cape. lmao.. and the "undead" had me rolling

I never really figured out what EMO was... ??

It just makes me think of elmo with no l.

I think i missed all that by like 2.5 years. Okay.. a few more..

shut. up.

Mighty M said...

Haha!! I won't tell your boss your secret! :-)

Ink Obsession Designs said...

Very funny! :)