Monday, July 12, 2010

why it sucked

dear eclipse,


so lady tremaine and i saw you together last week.


and you didn't think we'd treat you any different than

new moon

or

twilight?


good. cuz we're not gonna.


1. actor switch

so lady tremaine and i agreed that riley totally should of

been cast as bella.



i mean, he acted the shiz out of the burning scene.

and they already had a wig.

done. and done.


2. the coordinated cullens




Val: what, did alice coordinate their fight clothes?

Demos: yeah, i can see her saying:

" this is very important to me emmett. i can't fight if we don't match"


3. fancy demetri


what is demetri doing in this scene?

i imagine the convo went something like this:

david slade: k, in this next scene try to act aloof. got it?

demetri: k, got it.

david: action! wait! Cut! Cut!

demetri: what?

david: i said be aloof! not a doof!



4. exercise classy


what is edward wearing? is that a sweater with track pants?

yeah, i think it is.

looks like he is trying to be his towns ron burgundy

"exercise classy, forks!"



5. the sometimes accent


oh my goodness.

bless jaspers little southern heart for really trying to sell that accent.

but just like the ending of new moon, it was laid on a bit too thick.

its like we get it!

You're Southern!

not only that, but i think carlisle got jealous of jaspers special elocution lessons and

decided to get in on the fun,

cuz he was fake accenting right along side with him.





in all fairness, this really should have been titled "why it rocked" .

this really was the best of the series so far, and we really had to dig deep into the barrel to find

stuff to make fun of.

but making fun is funner.

so we did that.


but surprisingly k.stew didn't give me a seizure with her incessant blinking and stuttering.


my mind didn't wander off when the wolves or jacob were on screen.


i loved the eclipse logo at the beginning of the movie.


and the soundtrack totally kick asphalt.

i have been listening to it non stop. still.


and the best part is that we are now this much closer to


BREAKING DAWN!!


7 comments:

Good Girls Studio said...

making fun IS always funner...yes & yes :)

annie said...

what! No mocking the death scene of Victoria?! I am so disappointed!

Wonder Woman said...

What about Rosalie killing Royce?! I actually laughed out loud when I saw her in the dress, and had to cover my mouth. HILARIOUS!!!!!!! At least they acknowledged it was funny, though.

hotpants™ said...

When you said actor switch, I thought you were going to say something about Bryce. What did you ladies think of her as Victoria? She was too sugary sweet for me. I totally laughed to myself when I saw the Cullens coordinated fight clothes. It was totally Alice.

Seriously though, I loved the movie so much!

deb@virginia blue said...

i finally saw the movie last week with my daughter... it was definitely better than the first two, but i still thought it was kind of cheesy. as good as the books were, i was hoping they'd invest a bit more time and money into making these movies more awesome.

and i seriously can't stand kristen stewart...why does she constantly look like she's either constipated or pissed off???

foxy said...

You have QUITE the eye!! I certainly didn't catch all that stuff... but it is ALL hilarious!!

"exercise classy, forks!" - that's the best.

Loved it, loved it, loved it. Can't wait to watch it over and over again on dvd... :)

Chrissy said...

So funny, they are all so cheesy, but you're right Eclipse has been the best so far. Cannot wait for Breaking Dawn!