Monday, July 13, 2009

watch out for the idiot hole

dear alexa,


so....you've had quite the weekend. your heroineing adventure hit newspapers on saturday, you can read it here if you are interested. you know, if your traumatic experience has left you shaken and forgetful.


still confused as to what i am referring to? k, so apparently you were walking in NYC, city of apples, a few days ago. just texting (no doubt something deep and super important that couldn't wait until you not walking)and minding your own business when out of nowhere the ground was no more and you fell. fell into an opened manhole. yes, you were so busy texting your deep thoughts that you totally missed that there was a huge gaping hole in the effing ground!


now the men that were working on this manhole said that they left it unattended for a minute. they left so they could go get some big, bright orange cones to put around the hole. huh, the irony.....


granted, they probably should have left one dude there, while the other went to get the cones, but i am sure they thought that no one would be able to miss the fact that that there was a hole. and certainly no one would be dumb enough to walk into it. congrats 16 year old alexa from staten island, you proved them wrong!!


now, your mama is trying to sue. of course she is. she can't face the neighbors now that the country, or at least the greater tri state area, knows that her child is an effing idiot. so she must place blame on someone else. it shouldn't matter that you weren't paying attention. it shouldn't matter that you were texting. someone should have held your hand and helped you.


so, i guess someone will now suggest that protective padding be placed in or around any inanimate objects, you know something like this:






quick, someone call the mayors office, they need to idiot proof the city,

13 comments:

Scrappy Girl said...

So funny! I think we are all going to have to start wearing protective gear to keep the "idiots" that must text while walking from killing us!

Kristina P. said...

I am going to NYC on Thursday. This would totally happen to me!

Kathie @ my net finds said...

hahahaha! I probably would do something stupid like that, but not from texting!

Amy said...

A-ma-zing the things people do. Simply mind boggling how you could be so wrapped up you don't see where you are going. Again, I am astounded!

Ronnica said...

I so walk into things all the time...some people just aren't all that observant!

Mighty M said...

That is so funny! I can't believe they might sue - crazy!!!

Kristin said...

Ah ha. No joke. I do walk around without paying attention a lot. Can't hate on the girl too much, but her mama...that's another story.

B said...

That's "like" so terrible and traumatizing. "Like" how is she ever going to walk and text again? "like"

I feel stupid just listening to her harrowing tale of defying death. One inch either way hey? Uh. Yah. For sure. Good thing they are contemplating suing. It's the smart thing to do in this situation, they probably couldn't afford to move elsewhere and hide from embarrassment any other way. My advice though, she should write a book; it's got best seller all over this tale. (or something)

Amy said...

What a genius! People who incessantly text drive me nuts - my sister in law is like that - you can't even have a conversation with her without her freaking phone going off - and it isn't for work since she is a classic underachiever...

Alicia said...

freak. for real? apparently she inherited her inferior genes from her lame mother...after all, it's her mom's fault that she turned out this way. the worst part is that she was probably texting something urgent like omg lmao ttyl....

beth said...

hahahah! cracking up over this. what we would do without stupid people to amuse us?

Julie said...

Of course...let's sue! There's a shocker.

Lizzie said...

i read this the other day and almost died laughing (i know, i shouldn't be so mean...) but COME ON! i hope the mom loses her lawsuit, and that alexa learns to only text while driving :)