Thursday, April 16, 2009

avast ye

dear somali pirates,

i try to not get involved in political affairs. i feel that it is such a sensitive topic, but in your case, i will make an exception. I mean seriously guys, what the fetch? i was just reading in the news that you are now going to retaliate for what happened to your colleagues.....since when does your raiding, pirate buddy count as a colleague? do you also have meetings discussing TPS reports? do you ask each other if you are working hard or hardly working? are you planning to have a corporate retreat? oh, do you know what trust exercises you will be doing?

i also take issue with your demeanor and appearance. what self respecting pirate wears normal clothes? maybe all those pirate of the Caribbean movies have disillusioned me. but if you want to be taken seriously as a pirate, you really should invest in a puffy shirt or two, maybe some nice tall boots and a pirate hat. also, some eye liner and some beads in your hair wouldn't hurt. you might also want to take some of your doubloons you have stolen and hire a dialect coach. i mean, i have not heard a single, ahoy, thar she blows or all hands me hearties i must admit, i am a little disappointed.

so, if you genuinely want to be pirates, i suggest you take a cue from the extraordinary jack sparrow.



Anonymous said...

did you get the memo about the cover sheet for the TPS reports? LOL

beth said...

they probably don't even drink rum like proper pirates. what the fetch, indeed!

Emily said...

Seriously, what the fetch?! I never thought I would hear about pirates in the news. Maybe in storybooks with fairies and mermaids, but not in the news.

RamblingMother said...

I hope they heed your advice! They would make much better pirates that way! Stopping by from SITS!

Mindyleigh said...

You're just killing me. Savvy? LOL!!
Stopping by from SITS...have a happy Sunday. :)