dear edward (cullen, of course!)
demosthenes and i love you. you are so wonderfully perfect, from your perfect face, your perfectly chiseled body to your perfect manners as the perfect gentleman....frankly, it can be a little boring and not hilarious at all. and since hilarity is what keeps demosthenes and i sane, we have created a more fun version of you.
it all started after reading this fetchingly awesome convo (warning: effing hilarious, but very adult content)
if you didn't have time to read the entire thing, (that's cool, i realize not everyone has 8 work hours a day to kill)but i would highly recommend at least reading the first part of it. but i'll sum it up with this: it's essentially these 2 chicks talking about how funny it is that all the cullen couples were having "relations" all those decades, while you were alone. as we know in the books, that is why you are the most intelligent, because you spent your nights reading, learning and staying pure.
but an unfortunate side effect of....um repression, is that you turned into a neurotic, 40 year old house wife, complaining about messes, disorderly conduct and emmett's childish pranks.
anyways, demosthenes and i loved that convo, so much so, somehow over time that version of you was tweaked a little and you became a neurotic, sulky, emo teenager! LOL and we lovingly gifted this new version of you with the name of "emo edward"
so, now you know the origins of emo edward, i must admit that we love him. more than you. sorry, but you are just too boring to be fun and hilarious. but you are still our number 2 guy (maybe 3rd.....we love us some jasper)
hope you understand,
p.s. we totally envision that emo edward would be the end result from a drunken one night mistake between luke skywalker and hermione granger! he would totally get luke's whiny-ness and hermione's insane need for rules! LOL