Thursday, May 14, 2009

holy lame sauce batman!

dear valentine,

i enjoy a good superhero movie as much as the next guy..... well..... maybe not quite as much as THIS guy:

for four years cincinnati has been protected by its own home grown caped crusader. he calls himself "shadow hare". was that really the best name he could come up with?!?! talk about not striking fear into the hearts of villains.... he may as well call himself "captain pansy", at least that implies some amount of authority.

and apparently he's not alone, there is a whole league of non-fear-inducing super heroes loose in the US. they call themselves the "allegiance of heroes" and include such lame sauce names as: "wall creeper" in colorado, "master legend" in florida, and "aclyptico" in pennsylvania. (okay, so maybe aclyptico is kind of a bad a** name)

and the best part? shadow hare has an arch nemesis! a super villain from the "consortium of evil" located in "the dark side". as you can tell from his craigslist add he must want to catch shadow hare very badly if he's willing to offer $10 in exchange for shadow hares identity. my advice to shadow hare? turn yourself in, take the money, buy a latte and end the embarrassment.

you can't make this sh*t up,


Anonymous said...

LOL! Captain Pansy is hilarious

Imogen said...

Is this for real?


B said...

Who needs coffee to start your day right when we can read stuff like this! Now I have to pull myself together and feed my babes, who are looking at me like I've lost my mind, and I'm sure I'll be laughing out in the middle of my day when I think of Captain Pansy and his cohorts. Thanks for adding buckets of sunshine to my day.

Vivienne said...

Shut! UP!
Shadow Bunny? (same thing).
Do you think he ever trots that one out while trying to get laid?
Just sayin'

Valentine said...

i know!! this is totally hilarious and totally crazy LOL

vivienne- i totally think he pulls out the "super hero" card when it comes to the ladies:
"yeah, i fight might have heard of me...i'm the Shadow Hare!" LOL

Kristin said...

Shut the f up. This can't be real. I would love to meet the folks who raised this dude.