Monday, August 10, 2009

kristen's teen choice

dear kristen,


i don't know what to say in regards to your outfit choice for the teen choice awards. are those sharp, spiky blades attached to your skirt? why yes i believe they are.

source

okay, why are there sharp spikes on your dress? are they for cuttin' all the b**ches that try to come near you? or try to get near rob? if that's the case, i'll throw on my knife skirt and meet you down there. we can protect rob together. we'll be like the skirtblade sisters.


the thing is, this could have been such a great outfit, if only you had left the spikes at home. it would have been very young hollywood. fresh and cute. but instead, it just makes me wanna shout out:


yes, we get it! you're tough. you're a bada**. you're joan effing jett!! but here's the thing, you're not joan jett. you're just a confused teenage girl with a very. very. bad mullet. (why, oh why did you let them cut your hair???)


the thing that confuses me the most is, how are you and rob gonna get it on later in that thing? i would love to see him try to manuever this. it would be quite the feat. i don't even think the jackass guys would try to attempt it. your skirt is gonna frickin skewer rob's junk! and i take issue with that because we have a dumpster date later, so i can't have you all edward scissor hands-ing the goods. come on!



to be fair, you weren't the only girl there who wore a questionable outfit.....



miley cyrus. miss. disney, herself wore this. looks like halloween came early this year and the good girl decided to go as the slutty nurse, the naughty librarian a whore. (you're welcome whoever said we need to talk about whores more often ;)

can you believe this chick is 16? when i was 16 i had braces, a mom haircut (you know, a haircut given by mom. in your kitchen) and wearing irregular jeans (they sell them cheap if there is something wrong with them. remember that demos? remember? good times.) and we wonder why there are so many child predators, 16 doesn't look like it used to. why wasn't chris hansen at this thing?


um, i think i may have gotten slightly off topic. k, to sum up, you're skirt is an emergency room visit waiting to happen and miley looks like a story book disney whore princess.


tell rob i'll see him later. and to ignore all notes from demos,

16 comments:

Orange Juice said...

Maybe M was planning on strolling down Hollywood BLVD later. Don't tell her daddy.

K might have some man issues goin on...its like Bobbitt meets Psycho in that skirt ew

Alicia said...

ugh...what the frack is kstew wearing?! i wanna slap that girl sometimes...and miley 'the gums' cyrus...she'll be pregnant in a year, tops.

Kathie @ my net finds said...

hahaha, isn't that all the truth.

It's All Good said...

You should see my 16 year old get-up, consisting of limited too sale rack scores and frizzy pony tails....the sad thing is because these girls dress up the way they do now, people never believe im 22....they think im like 12....=(

Scrappy Girl said...

I am not a fan of Kristen's "style" and I hope and pray we can get Miley to her late 20s without her pulling a "Britney."

Kristina P. said...

Kristen is just a wierd girl.

beth said...

that skirt scares me. oh, who am i kidding? kstew scares me!

foxy said...

Awful, awful, AWFUL. Her real personality (or lack thereof) is sooooo unimpressive. As is her wardrobe.

ICK.

And I'm just saying, I would dumpster date Rob any day... or eat a cheeseburger behind a gas station. All in the name of love, baby. :)

Amy said...

To be quite honest, I haven't seen Kristen in a single outfit that I like. She seems to be trying to look skanky. I don't know if it is just my vintage taste in clothes or what, but she just always seems so grungy and slutty. Meh, what are you gonna do. She is a "teen star."

Mighty M said...

Looks like I missed a good show! ;-)

Stephanie Faris said...

What scares me most about all this is it's all so 80s. And, having been a teenager in the 80s, I can say that anything these people wear now they'll regret 20 years from now!

Kristin said...

I couldn't get past the mullet. The things a girl's gotta do for a movie role.

Waxy said...

I am totally with Stephanie on this one - WTF is with all the 80s garb??? At least their hair isn't sticking up 1/2 a foot - that'll be next month...

Cottage Cheese Thighs said...

Didn't Miss Miley also work a pole sometime during this evening? Scary. I am taking my 12 year old to her concert next month - I sure hope I dont get an eyeful.
BTW - Thanks for visiting my blog!

Jenni Jiggety said...

I don't get Kristen's hair AT ALL. Yuck! She needs a makeover!

barefacedapproach said...

Miley was certainly dressed like a whore. Lets now forget however how the STRIPPER POLL was used during her performance. It was so very Disney of her.


PS. Cute blog :)