Monday, September 14, 2009

a bad case of fabulous-ness

Here is my complete letter. for some reason, only part of it posted earlier. stupid blogger!

dear fabulous ladies,

i was reading an article in the daily mail (srsly, i love that newspaper, our celeb gossip is nothing compared to their royalty gossip. harry and chelsy- woot! woot!) and it was discussing how basically more and more women

"...think the universe resolves around us, with a deluded sense of our own fabulousness, and believe we are cleverer, more talented and more attractive than we actually are." (HoLLa!!)

oh wait, i think that is a bad thing......anyways, it got me thinking. i know a small number of teachers, and they are always complaining that each year more and more children are becoming more spoiled, or selfish or having a sense of entitlement. i guess i always attributed it to the usual suspects: busy parents, trying to buy kids' love with presents, the whole "self esteem" movement and of course, the jonas brothers.

but maybe it is not just the kids who are suffering from entitlement. in what they are calling the "sex and the city" generation ( i love researchers and scientists. it's like they are 10 years behind on cool.) a larger group of women are displaying a false sense of "fetch-ness" (let me save you time, it is not something you can attain, it's just something you are)

"..In the workplace, in friendships, even in motherhood, the pervading culture seems to have become one of competitiveness, superiority and one-upmanship."

a recent magazine asked four women in their 20s and 30s, why they think they are still single:

A 39 year old beauty director claimed to be too independent for a relationship.

A 38 year old music agent attributed her single status to the fact she was an alpha female-independent, feisty, strong minded, high achieving and intimidating

The third woman, a 30 year old arts writer and curator, has been having too much fun to settle down

Another 29 year old, she was too picky

"he needs to be successful, solvent, and driven. He must also be long on genuinely good jokes with a decent sideline in bad ones that only she finds funny.

he needs to 'speak good restaurant', to have no special dietary requirements and to always be discerning without ever being fussy.

He needs to be clever without ever making her feel stupid. He needs to 'get' but not 'know' fashion"

are you kidding me? if you are "too independent" for a relationship, then why are you looking for one? and that last one? you're looking for a dude, right? k, just making sure. so who is to blame for this excessive fabulous-ness? the internet, (poor world wide webs, it gets blamed for everything) reality tv and easy credit. so, not the people themselves. nice

off being fabulous,


Anonymous said...

"In the workplace, in friendships, even in motherhood, the pervading culture seems to have become one of competitiveness, superiority and one-upmanship."

omg, so true!!!!

Stephanie Faris said...

I have a friend like that... She's 36 or 37 years old and is SURE she has plenty of time to get her career going, finally meet someone, and have kids. KIDS plural. She justifies this by saying her family are fertile myrtles, and since fertility is inherited, she'll be fertile into her 40s too. (?) It all sounds bogus to me. But she believes so firmly in it, she isn't even TRYING to date. And she's passed up a great opportunity with a supposed Matthew McConaughey lookalike who adores her because she'd have to give up her so-called career for it. She's an aspiring realtor who is doing so poorly right now due to the economy, she's having to wait tables to get by.

Amy said...

Hmmm, that is interesting. I don't think the competitiveness is a new thing, though. I am pretty sure that women have always been competitive and it is just showing more prevalently now. I know that I compare myself to other bloggy friends all the time. I try not to, but it's human nature. And now, I am off to be better than everyone else.

Alicia said...

these girls are laaaaaaaaame...and if they weren't born with the fetchness, then they should just give up hope now....accept the life of solitude...i on the other hand will go enjoy my fabulous marriage with my husband who gets fashion but doesn't know fashion (wtf to her!)...

MiMi said...

I would agree with this! Women do let their own "fabulousness" get in the way. It's irritating. Even SAHM's are like this!! Must be why I only have a few friends; none of us lets our "fabulousness" get in the way.

Kristina P. said...

I have a frenemy who just posted about her dating history pity party. She talks about how it's because all the guys are losers. Which a lot of them are. But guess what, a lot of it is definitely her.

SupahMommy said...

OH fabulous post! I'm reading a book called Nurture Shock and it touches on some of the junk you posted.. and how we cultivate it from a young age.

That book you chose.. self esteem trap.. I haven't read it yet either. .but i bet it will be good.

ok.. my comment was in no way funny nor clever.

i'm not fabulous today.. im my smart self. :)

Mighty M said...

Fun post, Miss Fabulous!

Molly said...

Competition has always been a part of life, back in the day women competed to marry better than other women. We compete now in the workplace. Competition creates motivation. I kind of like it, as long as we all stay good sports.

Thanks for commenting on my necklace! Good Luck in the giveaway!

beth said...

ugh...the whole competitiveness thing makes me nuts. i hate when i feel like someone is trying to compete with me ('cause really, with five kids? do you even WANT to have anything like me?!?!), yet i CONSTANTLY find myself comparing me to others and trying to catch up to them. annoying. sorry for the boring comment. totally unfetch today!

Stephanie Faris said...

I blogged about your blog on my blog today with a big ole link!