i think we could all use a mid week pick-me-up, enjoy ;)
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the Element of Surprise.
- Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
- If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's f*cking beef.
- The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.
- Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
- When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
- Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
- Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
- Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.