dear virgin trying to become a whore,
what were you thinking, writing this letter to e jean?
"Dear E. Jean: I’m a 21-year-old virgin fishing for a sugar daddy whcomino’ll launch me into a life of caviar and beautiful clothes. I recently heard about the American grad student auctioning off her virginity; right now, she’s considering bids of up to $3.7 million. I want to attempt the same. It would take care of my college loans, and I could live on the interest and be free to develop my career and talents.
The breaking of the hymen is reportedly painful and disappointing anyway. Why should I waste my purity on a “meaningful” college boyfriend or even a saggy sugar daddy when I can receive a pot of gold all in one go? How would I go about notifying these wealthy barons without attracting attention? —The Hungry Virgin"
ya, why waste your first time having sex on someone meaningful or special? what a waste that would be! i can't think of a better use for your virginity than whoring yourself out to the highest paying skeez bag, who likely has herpes.
you do realize that this makes you a prostitute right? you can try to justify it all you want, but you are degrading yourself and bringing down women's rights efforts world wide.
whats with guys wanting to bang virgins so badly anyway? virgins suck in bed. they have no clue what to do. their only skill set involves trying to not be nervous.
so good luck ruining your life and forever regretting this most terrible of decisions.
ps, don't forget to enter the giveaway! we're dying to hear your thoughts on
dumbledore vs gandalf