hi, valentine here

dear billy,

this has been a sad few days, first ed mcmahon, then farrah, then michael and now you....why you were taken so soon, i do not know. all you were trying to do is make the world a cleaner place with your very enthusiastic shouting talking and thumbs upping.

i have been giving it some thought, as to what was the best way to honor you and the only way i can think of is to list all of my favorite infomercials. what can i say? this is the form that my grief is taking.

ah, the food dehydrator. i remember watching this one thinking "man, wouldn't it be great if i could make my own beef jerky??" talk about a great infomercial!

it made a 10 year old girl, who does not particularly care for meat, want to make her own effing jerky!! congrats food dehydrator guy, congrats.

the dude who wants us all to get money from the gov. i mean, how is this guy not to be trusted and taken seriously? he has a question mark jacket, which we all know, is very, very expensive. he must have the secrets to gov. money,

otherwise, how could he afford that styling jacket? yeah, the shouting helped as well, to drive home the message that he was serious





the space bags....what a great invention. i mean, who doesn't have 15 winter coats that always seem to be in the way? what to do, what to do? i know, suction them into bags that are effing difficult to get into and let's face it, look very weird.

but i do like how the safari hat makes it look like our closets are a jungle. baahaa!! oh you advertising geniuses, you are effing hilarious!



last, but not least, the cornballer!! k, so this isn't a real product, but doesn't mean that i don't love seeing george sr. trying to peddle his shotty piece of shiz cornballer, both in america and mexico.

if this was available, i know i'd buy it, just so i could gather round my family and friends and so we'd "all be laughing and cornholing"

i give you two thumbs up,