Thursday, June 4, 2009

i give up

dear kate's ex-fiance (adam miller),


okay, you win. i wasn't going to get involved in the whole "jon and kate" debacle, i really wasn't. i was going to steer clear of this one. well, that was until i read about your "exclusive" interview with star magazine.

first off, let me say, i am sure you are thinking you are super awesome because you were interviewed by star, but i got news for you, it was exclusive because no one else cares!! you are just some loser that is hoping to strike while the iron is hot and gain some notoriety and quick cash.

anyways, you claim that you are not surprised by kate's behavior because she was "always chasing money" and that she wanted you to " be her sugar daddy". k, lets start with the sugar daddy thing.......eww, never, and i mean never, say that again, it's totally creepy when you say it.

you, quote "spoiled Kate with gifts, like a diamond bracelet and a gold locket...." wait, i am gonna stop you right there, if you are anything like my boyfriend at 17, i can guarantee that you gave her a glass or zirconia bracelet and a gold painted locket. i highly doubt you were giving her real gold and diamond presents much less anything from Tiffanys, so we can safely assume that she wasn't using you to get fine jewelry.

oh wait! shh! here is my favorite part of the article:.....miller not only gave her the finest in gifts, but cuisine as well: “We’d eat mostly hamburgers, fries, cheetos. A typical night out was at Ruby Tuesday’s!”

i must admit, i had no idea that hamburgers, cheetos and ruby tuesdays were considered fine cuisine......i have been dining on fine cuisine all these years and i had no effing idea! how awesome is that?

so between your fake, cheap gifts, your "connoisseurship" of fine food, and your lameness in harboring ill feelings from a relationship 16 years ago; we are only left with one question: why in the world did she end up not marrying you? the world may never know......



i am not defending kate, but i am certainly making fun of you!



p.s. i am sooo second hand embarrassed for you!

12 comments:

Kathie @ my net finds said...

too funny! I have been steering clear of the whole "Jon and Kate" situation as well...

Vivienne said...

I haven't watched the show and it wasn't on my radar until Joel McHale at the Soup started to skewer them... but this guy sounds like an opportunistic douche bag for sure. (You know that when it is neccesary to add an adjective to "douche bag" you've hit rock bottom...)

beth said...

"connoissuership"(sp.) of fine food...cheetos! really?!?! funny...we didn't cover that at the french culinary institute when i attended. maybe i was absent that day.

Mighty M said...

So funny! People are so ridiculous!!! Not referring to you, of course!! ;-)

B said...

I second the making fun of him bit. It's too easy not to.

hotpants™ said...

Second hand embarassed! I die!

Amy said...

I tried to watch that show once upon a time about two-three years ago, and was pretty bored. Never caught my fancy. Now I just think they are getting a bit ridiculous. My neighbors had 15 kids, and there was no reality show about them, what's up with that? I guess that screams I am from UT and so it isn't big news here, but where is the fairness?

i am so glad that you are helping bring the femininity back, and you are an apron supporter. Now if only I could get women to wear gloves and those adorable hats again, I would feel complete! :)

valentine said...

they are a little silly now, in the beginning it was kinda inspiring because they had this tiny house, no money and no help. now, TLC pays for their house, they have people to help with the kids, and take these fabulous vacations.....


oh.my.goodness amy! i think you may be my lost friend, i totally want hats and gloves to come back! my hands are constantly cold, and i would love to wear some lovely gloves to keep them warm.....

Kristin said...

I'm embarrassed for all involved! Everyone wants their 15 min. So ridiculous.

demosthenes said...

valentine i would make fun of you relentlessly if you wore gloves all the time. you've been warned.

valentine said...

demos

then i guess you can't come to my super fancy glove party LOL


haters to the back!

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