Monday, June 22, 2009

summer visit

dear parents, (not mine, because they never take me anywhere)


well, it's that time of year again, school is out and that can only mean one thing, the summer vacation. i know you are really excited to be on that beach, having fun at a theme park or just hanging with family at a reunion (hey, i won't judge if that's your thang....) but i bet you're not looking forward to the long, hot hours in the car or long layover time at the airport. no worries, aunty demosthenes and i are here to help.




according to the package: this wonderful activity is simple, but yet the diversion you need "Every 50 miles your child gets to tear open the corresponding area on the package to reveal a small plastic novelty that should keep them busy temporarily so you can continue on your journey without their incessant nagging." sweet right? i think so, and the tiny plastic pieces are the perfect size for your little one to put in their mouth. a bonus!







nothing lift's a family's spirit on a long car ride more than a good yodel. i know what you're thinking "but, valentine, we don't know how to yodel" i got your back baby, the emergency yodel button. keep this with you at all times and when the need arises, press the button to hear the sweet mellifluous warbling of an alpine yodeler.






these dante's inferno balls are the key to silence. little mouths can't be running if they're being burned by "cinnamon candy forged by demons in the third circle of hell"







don't worry parents, i didn't forget about you, but come on let's be honest, all of the other presents were really for you. but in any case, i got you something that is so very functional and practical, you'll wonder why you didn't always have one.
the beware pick pocket wallet! i remember as a child, my dad was always stressed and worried on vacations because it was costing him an a**load and also the fear of having money stolen from the locals. well, this fantastic wallet will solve one of those problems.

the whimsical stick figure sternly cautions any potential pick pocketer that you mean business and will not put up with their thieving. and if they are so caught trying to steal, you will deliver a swift blow to their windpipe, rendering them unable to breathe...... hey they were warned. k, maybe not, but it's probably still a good deterrent to pick pockets.



well, it's time for us to be off. but, we will stop by again and bring you some more fetchingly sweet presents.



aunty,

21 comments:

Reviewer11 said...

LOL yodeling! How about giving them a fart machine. :P

from a SITSsta.

American in Norway said...

K...loving these... What great ideas as I am about to endure a 2 week drive across Europe, camping.. think I need some of these! (popping by from SITS- great blog!)

Stesha said...

I think the fine art of yodeling should be given more respect. A good yodel is mind blowing!

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

The Redhead Riter said...

visiting from SITS...loved the pick pocket idea...i don't even put my wallet in my pocket because i am so paranoid...i just put a $20 bill in my front pocket and that's it...i don't think anyone would try to get that one!

sanewithoutdrugs said...

Just give the kids some cold medicine ....

then your good to go.

Yaya said...

That map is so cute!

Congrats on being the first sits commenter today!

Robin said...

These would make great Christmas / Chanukah gifts as well.
Hey, never to early to start that shopping. :-)
Oh so funny....thanks for sharing these.
Have a beautiful day.

Meaghan said...

Congrats on being the FIRST comment on SITS! Love your blog...very cool :)

Wanted to invite you to our fundraising raffle. New prizes every week including airline tix, jewelry, grills, snow boards, blankets etc...100% goes to cancer fighting charity :)

Hope you have a great week

Kathie @ my net finds said...

I love the yodel thing! hahaha

Kara said...

I think if I just threatened to buy any of these my kids would stay quiet!

Robbie S. Redmon, LPC said...

Congrats on being #1 at SITS. I love this post.

Amy said...

where oh where was this great wisdom last weekend when I had a long hot torturous 4 hour drive? Honestly, my son is too young to be asking the dreaded "are we there yet?" but it would have entertained me some. I will just have to invest for next year when he will be old enough to whine.

Alicia said...

haha!! i love it! too bad i don't have money in my wallet anyway...they can have it!

The Blonde Duck said...

Those are so cute!

Orange Juice said...

I'm thinking sleep aids for me. That'll keep everyone quiet. ;)

AB HOME INTERIORS said...

I love the candy!! What a great idea, burn their mouths to keep them quiet!! hahhahha I love it! Popping in from SITS!

hotpants™ said...

I'd like to give some of Dante's Inferno Balls to Heidi and Spencer.

Mrs.Zeus said...

Great ideas!!

Come play Monday matters at www.mrszeus.blogspot.com

Awesome Sara said...

how cool!!! kids these days have the best stuff. i was stuck with my little brother and a old ninendo.

Ronnica said...

Those little toys better keep them occupied for the entire 50 minute intervals!

Kristin said...

Brilliant. Would be good to gift to some 'rents you find annoying.